![]() We can bid farewell or change our course, but it must be done consciously and whole heartedly. When will we stop closing the door on our dreams, our hopes and our wishes that long to be fulfilled? Life does not refuse us anything, but rather, we refuse life when we do not accept the pastures that lay before us – when we refuse to walk on the path we have chosen. The time is now – that we stop explaining “reality” and refrain from self-soothing in the name of “truth”, a mechanism that feeds our self-worth, justifies our actions, quells our doubts and perpetuates our fears. Our spirits have capsized and we struggle to stay afloat on these waves of emotions as we gather our wits to re-board. We fear to stand in our own pool of discontent, to wade in our longing, and swim in our apathy – in this play of our desires we’ve chosen to express without being consciously aware. Not the Self of the highest mind, but self-guided by a false god, reaching outward – toward – blaming others for that which we are at fault ourselves. This wave of emotion we think is reality, but alas, it is the egocentricity of self. Our opponent being the Truth we are unwilling to confront as we outwit ourselves tackling the enemy of hate and anger with the force of a thunderous reactive wave. We run up and down the field of thoughts playing a game with ourselves, competing against the will of our mind and kicking the ball of illusion, maneuvering through a maze of discontent and self-destruction. We are unable to accept the travesty of our awakening, the expanse of our hell, and the eternal bliss of pure presence – of being here, now. We hide behind the bars of denial and judgment. We mask our freedom in the face of others. Yet we remain oblivious, ignorant in our knowing, looking around for approval, too afraid to take flight. “They” are the children of our soul (our memory), the very thoughts, ideas, fears, and fantasies that lead us forward into the dark night, into the shadows where revelation strikes and our phoenix emerging is exposed. We believe we are separate from “them” when “they” are our own inner destiny, our own plight to growth and freedom. It takes many thorns to protect a rose from its predators. Acting as if we are isolated – a solitary thorn on the stem of a rose – we think that what others feel and express is different than our own – contrary to what we feel and tell ourselves – a threat to our inner discovery and awakening. We are puppets to the evolution of a man-made human nature. The one that says “I am” and witnesses the vicious play of our mind, the rapture of our contempt, the fear in our non-action and the selfishness in our reaction. The story we create and recreate each day. Our memory has made us thieves to our birthright. We cannot accept nature as we know it from deep within because we are captured and enslaved by our violent history, distrust, and mental conditioning. We crave this feeling, this sense of realness, something our science can inform as truth. Instead, we allow our suffering to grasp at our heart strings and sink its vicious and tantalizing nails into our bare, raw, and naked flesh. If only we would listen to and remember the song of our soul and to speak the journey of our quest. Sinking into the abyss of samsara, the cycle of repetition and rebirth. We create a bounty for our fleshed soles which binds us to the earth, while we walk in solitude amongst the millions of other lonely souls. Preventing the very prospect we most long for – to accept and be where we are. We are unable to see, feel, or be in the midst of the expanse we know we are, yet we fight to find it, we fight to be there. ![]() ![]() “The future stands firm… but we move about in infinite space.” ~Rilke
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